Saturday, March 12, 2011

South Plains Leather Fest and life updates

my apologies for not writing. i recently moved and things have been very chaotic. thank God they are starting to settle down.

a few weeks ago Sir and i went to our first event, South Plains Leather Fest. i was scared out of my mind about attending but ended up having an amazing time. i learned so much about myself and met some really nice people who helped Sir and i ease into the play party and they were just there to help us out. we have connected through fetlife and i hope to stay in touch with them. we found new toys, one being a viper which sends me into subspace very easily. i also played publicly for the first time ever. we attended the play party both friday and saturday nights. friday night we just observed, saturday we played. i was extremely nervous but got over it and had a great time. when sunday came and it was time to leave i was very sad. it was great spending the entire weekend with Him.

i was scared of what would happen once we got back to where we live. i did where things would go, it was back to the unknown. Sir is doing much better with His personal issues and we are starting to settle down into a routine. a few nights ago when i was at His place He tied me to the bedpost and really let me have it. my ass is covered in deep purple bruises and i love it.

tonight we are going to a GWNN meeting, i am nervous about that and honestly not too sure if i want to go. it was one thing going out of town where the chances of me seeing someone i know slim to none. here where i live...that's a different story. we shall see what happens....

Saturday, February 12, 2011

apologize

i apologize for not posting in awhile. not much has really gone on. i've spent some time with Him, but everything is pretty much at a stand still with us. it sucks, and i hate it but it is what it is. He actually really pissed me off and hurt me last night, but of course i haven't been able to talk to Him about it and honestly, i do not feel as if i will get a chance to ever talk to Him about it....

Monday, January 31, 2011

update

hello all. i am sorry i have not written in awhile. things have pretty much been the same, just taking everything a day at a time. Master has kept His promise to me and we have had communication every day. His promise was not every day, but just to have communication. yesterday we were able to spend a little bit of time together, maybe about 30 minutes, but it was a great 30 minutes. we spent most of the time cuddling on the couch, but He did give me several orgasms with His hand. i did not ask for them nor did i hint to Him that i wanted Him to touch me. He just knew that i wanted it as so did He.

things are on the path to where we can spend more time together. i know over the next several weeks, if not months,  Master is going to need more time to himself than with me. i totally get that and understand it, but i really look forward to spending more time with Him.

patience, katya, patience.

Friday, January 21, 2011

a new day

after i posted last night Master called and asked me to meet Him and the place He is renting. i went. we talked and held each other. He was questioning the divorce because He is scared for His children. which i completely totally 100% understand. His children are the single most important thing, as they should be. the divorce is not for me, nor is it because of me. they were on the road to this long before i came into the picture. what He is asking of me during this process is to be low maintenance and not to give Him any added stress. He does not know when we will be together again, outside of where our public lives intersect. it is going to be a long hard road for both of us. He has promised me communication. maybe not every day, but most days He said. be it an email, text, or phone call, even a short one to say hi and that He is thinking about me. i stayed the night with Him last night and i am very glad that i did. leaving this morning was difficult but i had to go to work. i am going to hold the memories i have and use them to get through the days and nights when we do not talk and when i am in bed alone. i know now that there will be more times when we will get to be together. i am sure of that.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

good bye for now

it kills me to write this. i am a wreck right now, i feel as if i cannot breath. Master just left my place and has told me we have to put us on hold until He figures out stuff with His marriage; if He wants to go through with the divorce or not. it may not be a final goodbye, but it feels like it to me. i have only been His for a short time, but He has taught me so much about myself and has shown me more affection and cared more than anyone ever has before, including my ex-fiance. it's going to kill me not to talk to Him like we usually did while things are being figured out. He is telling me this may not be the end, but i am preparing myself for the worse. it is how i protect myself. i told Him i am praying that one day i will be His again, He said time will only tell. i hate time. in my past when i've been told that it has meant that time will not work in my favor.

i do not know if i can get through this.......

Sunday, January 16, 2011

"I'm coming over in a few minutes, be ready"

when Master sent me those words via instant messaging i thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest. excitement mixed with fear that something was wrong. then i read the rest of what Master sent and saw that everything was fine. i had been feeling under the weather all day with a migraine but welcome any time i get with Him. i had already spent a little time with Master after work but more time is always better.

i did not greet Master on my knees and i do not know if this is something i am going to be Punished for. i need to ask Him this. Master allowed me to lay my head in His lap for awhile while we were on the couch watching a movie. Master then decided He wanted to spank me and told me to lay over His knee. i am not sure how long He spanked me for, all i know is it lasted awhile and was VERY relaxing for me and helped my migraine. okay, maybe the medicine had started to kick in and that's why the migraine started to calm down.  i tried to suck Master cock but with my head pounding i was not able to give it my all.

we went into the bedroom where Master had me get on the bed on my stomach and He attached my arms to the headrest. Master used various tools to hit my legs, ass, back, and shoulders. i honestly do not know which tools He was using, besides the paddle. that one i know for sure.

i heard Him opening something, but i was not quite sure what it was. that is until i felt He rubbed it on my pussy and ass. at first i felt a warm tingling sensation all over then, as Master was playing with my cunt, working His fingers in and out of me, the feeling went from warm to burning. instantly i knew what Master had put on my cunt....tobasco sauce. i wish i could fully describe the feeling to you in so much detail that you feel it by my words. it is indescribable. it burned, was warm tingles....was pretty damn amazing. Master continued working my cunt with His hand, allowing me multiple orgasms and squirting. all of a sudden it was too much and i was screaming out our safeword. Master quickly undid my arms and got me into the bathtub.

after i felt okay enough to get out of the tub, Master lead me to the couch were He held me as i came down from the intensity. we discussed how we felt during the scene as well as what we were feeling at that moment. He also had me go look at the wetspot i left on the bed and told me He did not use any lube at all. i had to confess to Master that although it started to hurt like hell, i really enjoyed having tobasco sauce on my pussy. i told Him i'd like to do it again, "like now, Sir". His response was "go get it". i laid back on the couch and spread my legs for Master. this time He used a vibrator on me. i do not know why but the second time was more intense, Master says my clit was "jumping around, going in and coming out". i wish we would have had a video of that. i was allowed to orgasm and i wanted to so bad, but i couldn't. i knew when i was at the point where i needed my safeword but i did not say it. i tried to push myself farther. suddenly i was screaming it and attempting to run to the bathtub, though i could not move much because the burning.

this time it took the burning a lot longer to go away and i started freaking out a little. more so at myself for being stupid enough to not say the safeword when i knew i needed it. it took a long time for my body to adjust back to normal. i was shaking uncontrollably even while Master was holding me, rubbing my back and arms, telling me He was right there and i was safe. my head knew all that, my body was not listening though. i actually ended up falling asleep. unfortunately Master wasn't able to stay with me and i woke up when He got up to leave.

3) very important lessons were learned that night. 1) katya loves tobasco sauce 2) no more than one tobasco session a night, and 3) i MUST use the safeword the moment i feel i need to say it. no being stubborn or trying to be tough. say it.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

the waiting game

i hate waiting. i am very impatient, one thing Master is breaking me of. i am use to getting a few emails a day and even instant messaging at night from Master. as of now i have not spoken to Him since my drive to work this morning and have not received any correspondence from Him since around 12:30pm. it sucks. there's a lot going on in His life right now that needs His attention more so than i. i completely 100% understand that but i still do not like that i haven't had even a little message from Him. i have no doubt that i have crossed His mind and He cares about me. what is troubling me is He is going through so much emotional pain right now and there is not a damn thing i can do about it. i told Him in our last email that i will not send Him an email first, i will wait for Him to. i did not realize how difficult this would be when i am so use to sending Him a random email that has a little joke in it or a picture i found that i think He would enjoy. i know He is not Punishing me by not having interaction, however i still found myself not doing things i am suppose to do, and for that i know i will be Punished.

i want to tell Him i finished the majority of my school work early, for i know He will be very proud of me for that. i want to tell Him i got the new battery for my car so i will not have problems with it tomorrow. i want to tell Him i wrote a new blog.

but most of all i want to tell Him i care for Him deeply, that i am His, and am here for Him however He needs.

here i am waiting......

waiting.......

waiting......

Monday, January 10, 2011

"date" with Master

i apologize i have not written in while. i have been sick the past few days and my computer was having major issues.

on saturday i was able to enjoy some time with Master. He came in while i was still asleep and woke me up with kisses, my favorite way to be woken up. i am always a bit groggy and bitchy in the mornings, but when Master wakes me up, there is no bitchiness.  i have been having a lot of problems with my back lately, filled with knots and just hurting in general, so Master told me to lay on my stomach and He gave me a nice massage. ending it with telling me i need to try to budget in a professional deep tissue massage sometime soon.

while i was still laying on my stomach Master started playing with my/His cunt, slowly working His entire fist in me until He could slid His fist in and out with ease. I LOVE BEING FISTED! i had, i believe, 3 orgasms while Master was fisting me.

we cleaned up and went out onto the couch where we cuddled and chatted. Master and i have an ongoing list of things we want to talk about. although Master and i have amazing communication i feel as if the list is constantly growing and not much is being talked about. i know that is far from the truth, as Master and i chat a lot. when Master and i get to spend time together, we are pretty much always on a time limit. things are changing and soon enough i know we will be able to shorten that list.

after a bit we started messing around on the couch and i asked Master if He would please fuck me. and boy did He. afterwords we ended up back in the bedroom where i sucked His wonderful Cock. i asked Master if He would like to cum in my mouth or on me. He chose on me, which really surprised me. i'm not complaining, i was just surprised.

last night Master stopped by just to pick up my computer so He could fix it. i barely remember Him coming in, as i had just gotten home from the emergency room and was doped up on pain medication for the migraine i had, as well as a viral stomach bug. He came by again the afternoon to bring my computer back as well as bring me some sprite and chicken noodle soup. even though we were only together for about 5 minutes, i am so thankful for that time. i am really anxious for the changes to happen.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

changes

i am going to be changing the name of my blog, the url will still the same, so no worries! the new name will be katya's kinky escapades with Master....the change will happen in a few days.

~katya

Monday, January 3, 2011

Pushkin

i've had one of those days when it seems as if everything is lined up against you. i'm in a job i hate, and i've only been there for 2 months. it is nearly impossible to find a good job i may enjoy without a college education, which i am in the works of finishing. i am worried about my Master and the things He is currently going through. how they are affecting Him, and what is going to become of our relationship. i have no doubt that our relationship is going to continue, but i do know there are going to be changes to it and i am not sure in which way that is going to be.

usually when i am having one of these days i have no problem writing something to get out my emotions and frustrations. tonight i am finding it impossible to convey what i want. i found myself flipping through the worn out pages of my old Pushkin anthology. i often find comfort in that book. i thought i'd share one of my favorite pieces of Pushkin's both in english as well as in Russian.

Winter Evening
The storm wind covers the sky
Whirling the fleecy snow drifts,
Now it howls like a wolf,
Now it is crying, like a lost child,
Now rustling the decayed thatch
On our tumbledown roof,
Now, like a delayed traveller,
Knocking on our window pane.

Our wretched little cottage
Is gloomy and dark.
Why do you sit all silent
Hugging the window, old gran?
Has the howling of the storm
Wearied you, at last, dear friend?
Or are you dozing fitfully
Under the spinning wheel's humming?

Let us drink, dearest friend
To my poor wasted youth.
Let us drink from grief - Where's the glass?
Our hearts at least will be lightened.
Sing me a song of how the bluetit
Quietly lives across the sea.
Sing me a song of how the young girl
Went to fetch water in the morning.


The storm wind covers the sky
Whirling the fleecy snow drifts
Now it howls like a wolf,
Now it is crying, like a lost child.
Let us drink, dearest friend
To my poor wasted youth.
Let us drink from grief - Where's the glass?
Our hearts at least will be lightened.


зимний вечер
штормовой ветер покрывает небо
Кружение ворсистые сугробы снега,
Теперь он воет, как волк,
Теперь он плачет, как потеряла ребенка,
Теперь шелест распались соломенная
На нашем ветхих крыш,
Теперь, как задержки путешественник,
Стучит в наши окна панели.

Наш жалкий домик
Это мрачное и темное.
Почему вы сидите все молчали
Обнимая окна, старая бабушка?
С воем бури
Измученный вы, наконец, дорогой друг?
Или вы дремали урывками
Под гудение прядильного колеса?

Выпьем, дорогой друг
Для моего бедного впустую молодежи.
Выпьем с горя - Где стекла?
Наши сердца по крайней мере будут облегченные.
Спой мне песню о том, как bluetit
Тихо жизни на море.
Спой мне песню о том, как молодая девушка
Пошел за водой по утрам.

штормовой ветер покрывает небо
Кружение ворсистые сугробы снега
Теперь он воет, как волк,
Теперь он плачет, как потеряла ребенка.
Выпьем, дорогой друг
Для моего бедного впустую молодежи.
Выпьем с горя - Где стекла?
Наши сердца по крайней мере будут облегченные.




Sunday, January 2, 2011

overcoming soft limits

i conquered one of my soft limits today. it was a limit i wanted to defeat, not just Master wanting me to get over it. that limit was Him cumming into my mouth.

let me give you the background of this limit:

several years ago i made a lot of mistakes. i was strung out on drugs, rarely sober. and when i was sober i was in the process of getting another drug. my favorite was ecstasy but would take just about anything. being a druggie pretty much goes hand in hand with hanging out with the wrong people and doing things you wish you didn't when you look back on them. my story is the same. my aversion to allowing Master cum in my mouth is because while i was strung out i would allow anyone to shoot their load down my throat. they would give me drugs sometimes, other times i did it just because i thought they were my "friends" and blah blah. so, since sobering up it has become very difficult for me to swallow, or even allow cum in my mouth. i think until today it had been at least 3 years since i last swallowed.

Master had a little bit of time He could come see me, and we had a lot to discuss. i did not great Him in our traditional way, i was clothed (well in the process of it at least) when He walked in. we talked and discussed things. although now i am remembering we did not talk about one thing He had wanted to hear more about. the reason i have not been sleeping well...

we ended up in the bedroom, and well...as you already know, i was able to make Master cum in my mouth. it was emotionally hard for me, but i wanted to do it. i wanted to take that final step of submission to Him.

and damn if felt good to do it :-)

14 days, 600 edges...

i think the last 2 weeks were the longest 2 weeks of my life. especially getting through work on thursday and the hours until Master arrived at my place friday morning.

He took His sweet time getting to my place, purposely getting there later than He said He would. i have a patience problem, i lack it. when He finally arrived i was waiting on my knees for Him like His good slut. He walked up to me and i immediately undid His pants and began worshiping His Cock. after a little bit Master told me to stop, He pulled up His pants and bent down to kiss me. i almost lost myself to tears right then. He helped me stand and continued to kiss me. we held each other for awhile, and i did have a few tears. i was so happy to see Him. we sat on the couch, me in His arms and talked for a little.

we had previously talked about stress relief and maintenance spankings. Master decided to try it out. He told me to lay across His lap and he began to softly spank my ass, lower back, and thighs. He hit harder at times, and with rhythm. i was in heaven. i do not think i have ever been so relaxed in my life. Master decided this is somehow going to become part of our routine. 

over the past weeks i had earned a few Disciplines and Punishments for various things. Master asked if i wanted to get them over with before the pleasure began and i replied with a yes. Master had me sit on the couch with my back up against the back. He hooked my arm cuffs to my collar, blindfolded me, and had me put my feet on the edge of the couch, legs spread. before He blindfolded me i saw Him get the 5 gallon paint stick....my biggest Punishment fear. Next thing i knew Master grabbed my left tit and squeezed hard while wearing the tack glove. that was Discipline number one for missing a question on a quiz. He then grabbed the right one in the same fashion. Discipline number two for missing a question on a different quiz. next Master grabbed my/His cunt with the tack glove, rubbing the clit with the point of a tack. Discipline number 3 for falling asleep before doing bedtime edges. Master had me stand and bend over the arm of the couch where i received 10 hits of the paint stick. 5 for one Punishment when i did not follow His schedule, and 5 for the second Punishment when i did not answer a question of His immediately. Master took of the blindfold, unhooked my arms and sent me to lay down in the bed. He joined me there almost immediately and held me and soothed me while i cried.

the night before i had been forgetful and did not click the last 5 edges into the counter i had been using. for this Master caned me 5 times on each ass cheek while bent over the bed. He also had me choose a number between 1-10, i chose 7. Master said i would not be allowed an orgasm until He edged me 35 more times. Master put the hood on me, hooked my hands to the headboard, feet to the foot of the bed and my thigh cuffs to the sides of the bed so my pussy was exposed to Him and i could not fight it, even if i wanted to.

Master edged me many ways, my favorite being with His amazing mouth. i was so wet and in agony that a slight touch to my clit had me yelling out to Master for permission to cum. which He, of course, denied. Master used clothespins and tape and spread my pussy lips apart for Him to have better access to His property. i love that feel but i HATE when the clothespins come off. hurts like a motherfucker!

finally we got to the 35 edges and Master allowed me to orgasm. He had his fist in my cunt and was playing with my g-spot. i came so hard and intense that i squirted....a lot. i also, in the middle of this orgasm which was a rolling orgasm, busted into tears. not a few rolling down my face, but full out sobs. i assured Master absolutely nothing was wrong, everything was perfect, even though i continued to cry as i continued to orgasm. i have never in my life experience this before, crying while having an orgasm. i have squirted before, but never cried. we rested a bit, and then Master made me squirt another 3 times. i could barely move by the time we were finished.

in fact, my entire body is still sore today. my pussy, surprisingly is not sore, even though Master worked it over with His fist and my monster dildo. my shoulders, neck, ass, legs...those muscles are all very sore.

Master kept telling me how proud He is that i made it 14 days and 600+ edges before having an orgasm. or several in this case. He rewarded me by telling me that this weekend i could have as many orgasms as i wanted and do not have to follow a masturbation schedule. with it being a new month we do need to come up with a new one for january. Master also determined that typically He will only deny me an orgasm for a week. of course this may change as He sees fit.

i have not been able to masturbate much today, due to a family emergency i spent most of the day at the hospital. everyone is okay, now. Master was aware of this, as it started happening when i was with Him yesterday.

Master is able to come over for a little bit tomorrow, and i always cherish the time we have to spend together. i may or may not post a write up on this visit. i may not because we are going to be doing a lot of talking, He does not even want me to greet Him naked and on my knees. it is not a bad talk, although i am a bit nervous. there is just a lot going on in both of our separate lives that we want to talk about with each other, without the distraction of my tits or His Cock.

oh, and i hope everyone had a safe and happy new year!

~~~~katya~~~~

Thursday, December 30, 2010

quick note

hello whomever may be reading this! just wanted to give a quick update....i have edged myself 600 times in the past 14 days! Master and i reunite tomorrow after 14 days away from each other. less than 12 hours now and i am VERY excited.

Master has told me i am to not edge anymore, however i am to continue masturbating until He arrives. i am not allowed to go above an 8 on a 1-10 intensity scale. this is going to be very, very difficult....

i will write more either after Master leaves tomorrow, assuming that i will be able to move, or the next day. every one have a happy new year and be safe!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

few more days....

just a few more days until Master and i reunite after 2 weeks apart. the past 2 weeks has been a huge emotional roller coaster for me. right now i am anxious. i cannot wait for Master to walk through my door as i wait on my knees for Him with my fresh brazilian wax job. i had that done tonight for the first time ever, and i plan on going back every 4 weeks or so.

i do not know what i am looking forward to the most, if it is His Cock in my mouth, His hand inflicting pain that i love so much, the feel of Him in me, just knowing He is somewhat close even when He is not with me, or just being in His arms. if i had to chose i may say just being in His arms. one of Masters "terms of endearment" for me is His cocksucking cuddleslut cunt. which does sum me up very nicely.

i know after i get Master in our traditional way i will want to go straight to the couch or the bed and just be in His arms, kissing Him everywhere i can. the past few days i have felt very rebellious and angry but now, as the day gets closer i am feeling much more calm and at ease. i feel as if i may event cry a bit once i see Him. out of happiness, the release of all the emotions over the past weeks, and just feeling that everything has returned to "normal".

yea....i'm emotional like that. was before He came into my life and i will always be.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

control of every day life

Master and i have been discussing what things in my every day life i am willing to give up control over. He does not want me to be 100% dependent and having no decisions to make, but we both are wanting Him to have more control over my every day life. we have started out by having a schedule for me to follow when i get home from work. some days, like today, Master had me make the schedule and then submit it to Him for approval. today was not a good day, as i had car trouble while i was out running errands and had to wait to be picked up and get my car good to drive again. because of this i had to make changes to the schedule, which i've been tempted to rebel against anyways today. that is for another posting though.

Master wants me to make a list of things i have no problem giving control over, things i am not so okay with giving up, and things i refuse to give up control of. this has actually been a very hard assignment for me to do and i probably forgot some very important things.

no problem giving up:
1) underwear requirements
2) bed time when i have work the next day
3) work out time
4) budget
5) clothing i wear when not with Master
6) studying time
7) what to do when not at work (to some extent)
not so okay:
1) when i hang out with friends
2) how i spend my non-bills money
3) internet usage
4) make up
refuse to give up:
1) when i see my family
2) what/when i eat
3) what games i go to
4) when i'm allowed to talk on the phone

this is all i can think of for now. i know i am probably missing some key elements here.....

Friday, December 24, 2010

and the answer is......

no. no orgasm. Master has decided to prolong my agony until He returns. in a way it is what i asked for. i have done 325 edges since my last orgasm.....

just wanted to give a short update. i have some assignments to finish then am off to bed. i hope everyone has a merry Christmas!

~katerinka

to orgasm or not to orgasm, that is the question.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

so you want an orgasm, slut?

first off i wanted to let you all know that i am okay. i have recovered from my subdrop and am 100% back to myself today. i was able to speak to Master for just a few minutes yesterday and it seems as if that is what i needed to bring me back. i also was able to speak with Him today and i am sure that helped as well.

Master has decided that i am to stay on orgasm denial while He is gone, which is until right before the new year. as of this moment that i am typing this i have edged myself 200 times since 12:20am Saturday. i am hating this and loving it at the same time. i believe this is the longest i have gone without an orgasm since i had my first orgasm. Master is teaching me there is more to pleasure than orgasms and He is doing a fabulous job of it.

Master and i were chatting on IM this evening and we started talking about how it is time for Him to push my soft limits. i mentioned that i love anal....the rare times that i am in the mood for it. i had mentioned it to Him before, but being a soft limit for me and our relationship still new He has not pushed it. we have decided that it is time. Master issued a challenge for me to try to earn an orgasm while He is gone. He said i am to take the normal width jelly dildo and put it in my ass, as much as possible but a minimum of 3inches to be considered eligible for an orgasm. it is a double dildo and Master said if i can get it in both my ass and my pussy it would be extra points.

i accepted the challenge and when we stopped chatting i pulled out the lube, covered the dildo with it and put a nice layer on my ass. i eased the dildo in and out, getting quite a bit in. a took pictures as Master requested. i started fucking myself faster and faster in the ass. i had my normal traditional vibrator next to me, so i grabbed it and started fucking my wet cunt with it. i edged myself, nearly orgasming, like that. i kept the dildo in my ass but took the vibrator, turned it on and began playing with my pussy. i turned it on high speed and put the vibrator right on my frustrated clit. i concentrated on my breathing, not wanting to get close to the edge too fast, trying to prolong my pleasure. i was able to bend the dildo so it was in my ass and cunt at the same time.

i really hope Master accepts my completion of His challenge.

Master and i had a great conversation, as per the norm, and our conversation brought up a lot of things Him and i need to discuss. things we want to try, things i am curious about, and why. Master wants me to write about these as well as post questions in various fetlife group forums. since i am not on winter break from school i will have free time to be able to write more, perhaps even daily :-)

Sunday, December 19, 2010

sub-drop?

i have been very emotional the past few days and acting somewhat uncharacteristically for myself. it comes and goes in phases, but i have felt a constant dark cloud over me. after doing some reading on fetlife i wonder if i may be experiencing sub-drop. here is why i think i may be....

first, when Master left thursday night i bawled my eyes out for a good ten minutes, even after He gave me fabulous after-care. Master is ALWAYS very attentive to what i need after a scene and i know He did not do anything wrong with the after-care. on friday i did not hear from Master, even after i had sent Him a few emails. i was having eye pain and was letting Him know i was thinking of going to the doctor. i recently had lasik so am a bit paranoid about my eyes still. the next email was telling Him what time my appointment was for. i still had not gotten a response from Him after my appointment and i sent Him another message asking if everything was okay. i was having crazy thoughts go through my head. He replied a little later to all the emails, telling me everything was fine and not to worry or be insecure. He had been busy all day and had not been on the computer. again i DO NOT fault Master in any of this. He did absolutely NOTHING wrong. yesterday and today we have exchanged emails and have had some conversations on IM but have not, and probably will not, talk on the phone.

i find it a little funny because just a few hours ago i said it had not hit me that Master and i were going to have very limited contact the next few weeks. i think it did after my ruined orgasm. i have been crying about every little thing. i want to curl up in a ball and stay that way. last night i was in such a bad mood, after spending the evening at the rink with one of my best friends at that, that i drank 2 glasses of wine (very rare for me), and spent a long time in the bath. today i slept in until 11:00, which does not happen very often either. Master and i had talked about today being a "me" day, He commanded me to take care of myself. which i did by not leaving my place except to go to dinner with my family. i sat on my couch, read, and did a little school work.

i sent Master an email saying i think i may be experiencing this. being new to the lifestyle i am not sure if i am correct or not. i do not want to worry Him.

can anyone help me out on this? advice, anything.

ruined orgasm in public restroom

first of all i am not allowed orgasm today, even though it is sunday. as a challenge, Master took it away and i graciously accepted the challenge.....

that brings me to dinner. i went out to red lobster to eat. i had my tiny vibrator in my purse and my egg remote vibrator in my frustrated wet cunt. Master sent me a text message and told me when i was able to He wanted me to go into the bathroom and have an "agonizingly close edge". i listened and.......had a ruined orgasm. i was in the bathroom, turned on the egg and put the amazingly powerful tiny vibrator on my clit. it took maybe a minute before i felt the first amazing contraction. prior to this i was up to 137 edges since my last orgasm and am quite the horny slut at the moment. i immediately moved tiny away from my clit and turned off the egg. then i teared up a little from being so frustrated right now. i then went back to the table my family was sitting at with my pussy dripping wet and feeling out of breath.

i confessed to Master about the ruined orgasm and He told me to write this post and is still deciding on if i will be Disciplined or Punished.