hello whomever may be reading this! just wanted to give a quick update....i have edged myself 600 times in the past 14 days! Master and i reunite tomorrow after 14 days away from each other. less than 12 hours now and i am VERY excited.
Master has told me i am to not edge anymore, however i am to continue masturbating until He arrives. i am not allowed to go above an 8 on a 1-10 intensity scale. this is going to be very, very difficult....
i will write more either after Master leaves tomorrow, assuming that i will be able to move, or the next day. every one have a happy new year and be safe!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
few more days....
just a few more days until Master and i reunite after 2 weeks apart. the past 2 weeks has been a huge emotional roller coaster for me. right now i am anxious. i cannot wait for Master to walk through my door as i wait on my knees for Him with my fresh brazilian wax job. i had that done tonight for the first time ever, and i plan on going back every 4 weeks or so.
i do not know what i am looking forward to the most, if it is His Cock in my mouth, His hand inflicting pain that i love so much, the feel of Him in me, just knowing He is somewhat close even when He is not with me, or just being in His arms. if i had to chose i may say just being in His arms. one of Masters "terms of endearment" for me is His cocksucking cuddleslut cunt. which does sum me up very nicely.
i know after i get Master in our traditional way i will want to go straight to the couch or the bed and just be in His arms, kissing Him everywhere i can. the past few days i have felt very rebellious and angry but now, as the day gets closer i am feeling much more calm and at ease. i feel as if i may event cry a bit once i see Him. out of happiness, the release of all the emotions over the past weeks, and just feeling that everything has returned to "normal".
yea....i'm emotional like that. was before He came into my life and i will always be.
i do not know what i am looking forward to the most, if it is His Cock in my mouth, His hand inflicting pain that i love so much, the feel of Him in me, just knowing He is somewhat close even when He is not with me, or just being in His arms. if i had to chose i may say just being in His arms. one of Masters "terms of endearment" for me is His cocksucking cuddleslut cunt. which does sum me up very nicely.
i know after i get Master in our traditional way i will want to go straight to the couch or the bed and just be in His arms, kissing Him everywhere i can. the past few days i have felt very rebellious and angry but now, as the day gets closer i am feeling much more calm and at ease. i feel as if i may event cry a bit once i see Him. out of happiness, the release of all the emotions over the past weeks, and just feeling that everything has returned to "normal".
yea....i'm emotional like that. was before He came into my life and i will always be.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
control of every day life
Master and i have been discussing what things in my every day life i am willing to give up control over. He does not want me to be 100% dependent and having no decisions to make, but we both are wanting Him to have more control over my every day life. we have started out by having a schedule for me to follow when i get home from work. some days, like today, Master had me make the schedule and then submit it to Him for approval. today was not a good day, as i had car trouble while i was out running errands and had to wait to be picked up and get my car good to drive again. because of this i had to make changes to the schedule, which i've been tempted to rebel against anyways today. that is for another posting though.
Master wants me to make a list of things i have no problem giving control over, things i am not so okay with giving up, and things i refuse to give up control of. this has actually been a very hard assignment for me to do and i probably forgot some very important things.
no problem giving up:
1) underwear requirements
2) bed time when i have work the next day
3) work out time
4) budget
5) clothing i wear when not with Master
6) studying time
7) what to do when not at work (to some extent)
not so okay:
1) when i hang out with friends
2) how i spend my non-bills money
3) internet usage
4) make up
refuse to give up:
1) when i see my family
2) what/when i eat
3) what games i go to
4) when i'm allowed to talk on the phone
this is all i can think of for now. i know i am probably missing some key elements here.....
Master wants me to make a list of things i have no problem giving control over, things i am not so okay with giving up, and things i refuse to give up control of. this has actually been a very hard assignment for me to do and i probably forgot some very important things.
no problem giving up:
1) underwear requirements
2) bed time when i have work the next day
3) work out time
4) budget
5) clothing i wear when not with Master
6) studying time
7) what to do when not at work (to some extent)
not so okay:
1) when i hang out with friends
2) how i spend my non-bills money
3) internet usage
4) make up
refuse to give up:
1) when i see my family
2) what/when i eat
3) what games i go to
4) when i'm allowed to talk on the phone
this is all i can think of for now. i know i am probably missing some key elements here.....
Friday, December 24, 2010
and the answer is......
no. no orgasm. Master has decided to prolong my agony until He returns. in a way it is what i asked for. i have done 325 edges since my last orgasm.....
just wanted to give a short update. i have some assignments to finish then am off to bed. i hope everyone has a merry Christmas!
~katerinka
just wanted to give a short update. i have some assignments to finish then am off to bed. i hope everyone has a merry Christmas!
~katerinka
to orgasm or not to orgasm, that is the question.
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
so you want an orgasm, slut?
first off i wanted to let you all know that i am okay. i have recovered from my subdrop and am 100% back to myself today. i was able to speak to Master for just a few minutes yesterday and it seems as if that is what i needed to bring me back. i also was able to speak with Him today and i am sure that helped as well.
Master has decided that i am to stay on orgasm denial while He is gone, which is until right before the new year. as of this moment that i am typing this i have edged myself 200 times since 12:20am Saturday. i am hating this and loving it at the same time. i believe this is the longest i have gone without an orgasm since i had my first orgasm. Master is teaching me there is more to pleasure than orgasms and He is doing a fabulous job of it.
Master and i were chatting on IM this evening and we started talking about how it is time for Him to push my soft limits. i mentioned that i love anal....the rare times that i am in the mood for it. i had mentioned it to Him before, but being a soft limit for me and our relationship still new He has not pushed it. we have decided that it is time. Master issued a challenge for me to try to earn an orgasm while He is gone. He said i am to take the normal width jelly dildo and put it in my ass, as much as possible but a minimum of 3inches to be considered eligible for an orgasm. it is a double dildo and Master said if i can get it in both my ass and my pussy it would be extra points.
i accepted the challenge and when we stopped chatting i pulled out the lube, covered the dildo with it and put a nice layer on my ass. i eased the dildo in and out, getting quite a bit in. a took pictures as Master requested. i started fucking myself faster and faster in the ass. i had my normal traditional vibrator next to me, so i grabbed it and started fucking my wet cunt with it. i edged myself, nearly orgasming, like that. i kept the dildo in my ass but took the vibrator, turned it on and began playing with my pussy. i turned it on high speed and put the vibrator right on my frustrated clit. i concentrated on my breathing, not wanting to get close to the edge too fast, trying to prolong my pleasure. i was able to bend the dildo so it was in my ass and cunt at the same time.
i really hope Master accepts my completion of His challenge.
Master and i had a great conversation, as per the norm, and our conversation brought up a lot of things Him and i need to discuss. things we want to try, things i am curious about, and why. Master wants me to write about these as well as post questions in various fetlife group forums. since i am not on winter break from school i will have free time to be able to write more, perhaps even daily :-)
Master has decided that i am to stay on orgasm denial while He is gone, which is until right before the new year. as of this moment that i am typing this i have edged myself 200 times since 12:20am Saturday. i am hating this and loving it at the same time. i believe this is the longest i have gone without an orgasm since i had my first orgasm. Master is teaching me there is more to pleasure than orgasms and He is doing a fabulous job of it.
Master and i were chatting on IM this evening and we started talking about how it is time for Him to push my soft limits. i mentioned that i love anal....the rare times that i am in the mood for it. i had mentioned it to Him before, but being a soft limit for me and our relationship still new He has not pushed it. we have decided that it is time. Master issued a challenge for me to try to earn an orgasm while He is gone. He said i am to take the normal width jelly dildo and put it in my ass, as much as possible but a minimum of 3inches to be considered eligible for an orgasm. it is a double dildo and Master said if i can get it in both my ass and my pussy it would be extra points.
i accepted the challenge and when we stopped chatting i pulled out the lube, covered the dildo with it and put a nice layer on my ass. i eased the dildo in and out, getting quite a bit in. a took pictures as Master requested. i started fucking myself faster and faster in the ass. i had my normal traditional vibrator next to me, so i grabbed it and started fucking my wet cunt with it. i edged myself, nearly orgasming, like that. i kept the dildo in my ass but took the vibrator, turned it on and began playing with my pussy. i turned it on high speed and put the vibrator right on my frustrated clit. i concentrated on my breathing, not wanting to get close to the edge too fast, trying to prolong my pleasure. i was able to bend the dildo so it was in my ass and cunt at the same time.
i really hope Master accepts my completion of His challenge.
Master and i had a great conversation, as per the norm, and our conversation brought up a lot of things Him and i need to discuss. things we want to try, things i am curious about, and why. Master wants me to write about these as well as post questions in various fetlife group forums. since i am not on winter break from school i will have free time to be able to write more, perhaps even daily :-)
Sunday, December 19, 2010
sub-drop?
i have been very emotional the past few days and acting somewhat uncharacteristically for myself. it comes and goes in phases, but i have felt a constant dark cloud over me. after doing some reading on fetlife i wonder if i may be experiencing sub-drop. here is why i think i may be....
first, when Master left thursday night i bawled my eyes out for a good ten minutes, even after He gave me fabulous after-care. Master is ALWAYS very attentive to what i need after a scene and i know He did not do anything wrong with the after-care. on friday i did not hear from Master, even after i had sent Him a few emails. i was having eye pain and was letting Him know i was thinking of going to the doctor. i recently had lasik so am a bit paranoid about my eyes still. the next email was telling Him what time my appointment was for. i still had not gotten a response from Him after my appointment and i sent Him another message asking if everything was okay. i was having crazy thoughts go through my head. He replied a little later to all the emails, telling me everything was fine and not to worry or be insecure. He had been busy all day and had not been on the computer. again i DO NOT fault Master in any of this. He did absolutely NOTHING wrong. yesterday and today we have exchanged emails and have had some conversations on IM but have not, and probably will not, talk on the phone.
i find it a little funny because just a few hours ago i said it had not hit me that Master and i were going to have very limited contact the next few weeks. i think it did after my ruined orgasm. i have been crying about every little thing. i want to curl up in a ball and stay that way. last night i was in such a bad mood, after spending the evening at the rink with one of my best friends at that, that i drank 2 glasses of wine (very rare for me), and spent a long time in the bath. today i slept in until 11:00, which does not happen very often either. Master and i had talked about today being a "me" day, He commanded me to take care of myself. which i did by not leaving my place except to go to dinner with my family. i sat on my couch, read, and did a little school work.
i sent Master an email saying i think i may be experiencing this. being new to the lifestyle i am not sure if i am correct or not. i do not want to worry Him.
can anyone help me out on this? advice, anything.
first, when Master left thursday night i bawled my eyes out for a good ten minutes, even after He gave me fabulous after-care. Master is ALWAYS very attentive to what i need after a scene and i know He did not do anything wrong with the after-care. on friday i did not hear from Master, even after i had sent Him a few emails. i was having eye pain and was letting Him know i was thinking of going to the doctor. i recently had lasik so am a bit paranoid about my eyes still. the next email was telling Him what time my appointment was for. i still had not gotten a response from Him after my appointment and i sent Him another message asking if everything was okay. i was having crazy thoughts go through my head. He replied a little later to all the emails, telling me everything was fine and not to worry or be insecure. He had been busy all day and had not been on the computer. again i DO NOT fault Master in any of this. He did absolutely NOTHING wrong. yesterday and today we have exchanged emails and have had some conversations on IM but have not, and probably will not, talk on the phone.
i find it a little funny because just a few hours ago i said it had not hit me that Master and i were going to have very limited contact the next few weeks. i think it did after my ruined orgasm. i have been crying about every little thing. i want to curl up in a ball and stay that way. last night i was in such a bad mood, after spending the evening at the rink with one of my best friends at that, that i drank 2 glasses of wine (very rare for me), and spent a long time in the bath. today i slept in until 11:00, which does not happen very often either. Master and i had talked about today being a "me" day, He commanded me to take care of myself. which i did by not leaving my place except to go to dinner with my family. i sat on my couch, read, and did a little school work.
i sent Master an email saying i think i may be experiencing this. being new to the lifestyle i am not sure if i am correct or not. i do not want to worry Him.
can anyone help me out on this? advice, anything.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)