Tuesday, January 11, 2011

the waiting game

i hate waiting. i am very impatient, one thing Master is breaking me of. i am use to getting a few emails a day and even instant messaging at night from Master. as of now i have not spoken to Him since my drive to work this morning and have not received any correspondence from Him since around 12:30pm. it sucks. there's a lot going on in His life right now that needs His attention more so than i. i completely 100% understand that but i still do not like that i haven't had even a little message from Him. i have no doubt that i have crossed His mind and He cares about me. what is troubling me is He is going through so much emotional pain right now and there is not a damn thing i can do about it. i told Him in our last email that i will not send Him an email first, i will wait for Him to. i did not realize how difficult this would be when i am so use to sending Him a random email that has a little joke in it or a picture i found that i think He would enjoy. i know He is not Punishing me by not having interaction, however i still found myself not doing things i am suppose to do, and for that i know i will be Punished.

i want to tell Him i finished the majority of my school work early, for i know He will be very proud of me for that. i want to tell Him i got the new battery for my car so i will not have problems with it tomorrow. i want to tell Him i wrote a new blog.

but most of all i want to tell Him i care for Him deeply, that i am His, and am here for Him however He needs.

here i am waiting......



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