Sunday, December 12, 2010


i have finished my homework and even turned in my outline for my paper a day early! i even did my 30 game edges, as well as my before dinner 30 minute masturbation session for Master. we have changed the rules for my game edges, which can be seen on my masturbation chart.

i have a few confessions to admit to that i will do here.....

first, Master has been telling me that i need to confide in someone other than Him about the relationship Him and i have. He believes that having someone else for me to talk to will be beneficial. i am very close to one of my best friends mothers. she is not only a friend of mine, but she is a mother-type. my own mother is in my life but her and i are as different as night and day. the only thing her and i can talk about and not argue or get bored with each other is hockey- strange i know. i shall refer to my friends mother from here on out as natalee. so i was over at their house last night and natalee and i were outside smoking. yes i know it is a nasty habit and Master hates it. He assures me He will not force me to give it up, but would like for me to. anyways, i asked natalee if i could have a serious conversation with her and asked she not judge me or tell anyone. she said of course. i began by telling Her about Master and the complex situation we are in. she said she cannot judge because she has been in a similar situation. i tell her there is more, that Master is my Dominant. i explained to her what that means and how much i love being His submissive slut. i tell her about how we have a safe and rest word (she was acting like a mom and concerned for my safety), Rules, and a Punishment system. it was very nice to get it out to someone outside of the relationship. i have a feeling natalee and i will be having many more conversations about Master.

the next confession i have is i am terrified. Master and i have talked about this some and He assures me it is not going to happen. Master is going away for a few weeks and i am terrified that when He gets back He will want to end our relationship and just go back to casual hellos when we see each other at the games. He says He promises this will not happen. i trust Master and i believe Him, this is my insecurity playing out. i will NOT let it affect the trust Master and i have for each other. He says He is not going to dump me when He gets back, and i believe him 100%. we are going to have very limited contact and that is going to be very hard. i am hoping Master will be able to email me at least a few times while He is gone, but if He is not able to i completely understand.

Master is also a bit worried i may get to attached to Him, and Him to me. i think in this type of relationship we are in it makes it difficult to not get attached. there is a great, powerful bond between Master and i and this is not something i am taking lightly. Master is also afraid i may be hurt (and not in the way i like). having my emotions hurt is a risk i took when i knowingly became involved with Master. we do not get much time together due to our situation. i wish to have more time with Him, but i also believe that because our time together is limited it makes it that much more better. i love the nights Master is able to stay with me. He makes me feel safe, beautiful, and slutty all at once. i have never experienced anything like this before. i am starting to crave Master's cane on my ass.......

1 comment:

  1. You will get attached to him if he is doing his part right. If he doesn't want that type of relationship, he has no business being a Dom w/a family. I get close to all my subs and we both know it on the front end. It cannot be otherwise. Hang in there. If you wish to confide in another online let me know.